La-Dee-Fucking-Da....

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La-Dee-Fucking-Da....

Post  rigger111 on Sat Mar 14, 2009 11:28 pm

Subject: Well, La-dee-fuckin'-da...
To: hunter.list@hunter-net.org
From: rigger111


So, let's see. I've been chasing this one nasty little rot across half the state of Washington (don't sweat it, I ain't there no more) for going on three weeks now. Motherfucker is a sick one too. It doesn't just kill its "prey" and drain it dry, it eats the fucking guts out of it. Yeah... shocked me too, since last I heard, bloodsuckers don't eat anything but a liquid diet. Guess what? This one likes the chewy center. Now, I was on to this prick because it decided to start picking on a local teenage group to where I was doing another hunt... for a flicker, of all things.

Anyhow... the fucking point. First, I wanted to pass on that tidbit about rots who eat flesh as well as blood. Second, I just had to share this little bit that I don't rightly know whether to fucking piss myself laughing at... or just piss myself over.

I finally corner the fuck in an old abandoned coffeehouse in Seattle, and I manage to get inside while its distracted anf feeding. Trust me, I ain't in the mood to describe what I saw, and you don't fucking want to hear it anyway. So, first thing I does is dump a fucking Molotov right on it's head from the upper balcony of the place, cuz I hear fire + bloodfuck = crazy-scared bloodfuck who can't remember to stop, drop and roll. Yeah... plan would have worked, except this fucker had on his asbestose underwear or some shit, since the Molly lasted all of twelve seconds before guttering out on its hide.

Then the fucking thing puts on some superspeed shit and next thing I know I'm against a wall with two busted ribs and I'm coughing blood out of a hole in my cheek. Now here's the part I want to laugh my ass off at-

The motherfucker starts MONOLOGUING. Yeah... I shit you not. It sounded like something right out of a fucking James Bond flick too. It smacks me upside the head and drops me, then tells me how it was ready for me. That "my kind" (I don't know if he knew I was Imbued, or he just assumed I was a 'normal' vampire hunter) was pathetic and easy to predict. He'd known I was on his tail for a week, and was setting this trap for me. Shit.. he even did the maniacal fucking laugh.

You know... I knew these fucking things were arrogant, but for fuck's sake.. this was arrogant AND dumb. He doesn't even notice that my healing thing kicked in, and that... so help me God, if I'm lyin', then I'm dyin'... my fucking cheek is already closing up! I make a couple snide comments to buy myself some time, and the dumb shit takes the bait, and keep telling me about his master fucking plan. How he kills teens so he can inflict fear in the local police and populace so that some other motherfucker he works for can go about some even nastier business (fucker wouldn't tell me who it was or what the other business is, so i'm combing leads now...) and how wonderful the whole fucking scheme is and how inferior and easy to manipulate that people are.

Well fuck. Manipulate? I guess i showed him something about that. Once I felt my ribs line themselves back up, I hit him with all the piss and vinegar I could find and forced up the Blowback. Motherfucker didn't just hit the wall on the opposite side fo the room... he fucking went THROUGH it. So.. lesson for you, kiddies... blowback and be used offensively if you're careful and pissed off. I didn't fucking wait though, and i wasn't going to make the same mistake this fucker did. I unloaded a full fucking clip from my .454 on his ass, reloaded, unloaded another one, then fucking put eight rounds from my shotgun in its ass for good measure. once the fucker was dry hamburger, I got out the machete and took its head off.

Needless to say, I didn't get enough info to go on. Just a phone number that was out of service and a couple of bank account statements. Managed to get some cruising money from the account, but that's about all. So, I'm at a loss. If anyone happens to catch wind of a bloodfuck near the Washington state area that likes killing kids in a special kind of gruesome way, contact me here. I'm gonna chase this shit down personally.

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Re: La-Dee-Fucking-Da....

Post  Penemue574 on Mon Mar 16, 2009 6:26 pm

Your lucky your a self-healer, that's all I can say.
You have to admit, without that edge, you would have been fucked.

However, James Bond villain monologues are unforgivable.

If you had some fake ID or something you could find the things Bank Statement from the account, giving you it's home address or lair or whatever, might give you more clues in it's house. But not sure how possible that is. I can hack quite a lot, but Banks are a little out of my range!

Anyway, well done, you have saved countless lives but ending one monster. Good luck finding more.

But next time...don't walk into traps, they might not be so stupid next time!

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Re: La-Dee-Fucking-Da....

Post  capricorn432 on Mon Mar 23, 2009 6:58 am

Rigger,

I'm glad to hear you're ok, man!

Capricorn

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Re: La-Dee-Fucking-Da....

Post  traveler72 on Tue Mar 24, 2009 8:04 am

To: hunter.list@hunter-net.org, rigger111@hunter-net.org
From: traveler72
Subject: re: Well, La-dee-fuckin'-da...

Try Spokane. I hear tell of some ritual murders up there a few weeks back. Might be something to do with your boy, or might be a lead to find there.

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Re: La-Dee-Fucking-Da....

Post  rigger111 on Tue Mar 24, 2009 8:40 am

Okay...quick report. I need to catch some snooze time before I catch a train.

Nubee- Credit and withdrawal receipts got me the info I needed. I just called in the bank card and two credit cards I picked off the body as found on the street and asked who I should send it to. The fucktards gave me the address without even asking me for my name. As for my healing trick being lucky? Fuck that. Just would have taken me longer to knock him off with the busted ribs. We call these fucking things "Edges" for a reason... they don't cinch the win, they just give us an edge. Get it? I still had two Mollies on me and a couple of sticks of dynamite I liberated from a poorly locked demo shack out in the boonies.

Funny thing about bloodsuckers... they need to put some meat on them bones. Those ribcages make surprisingly good handholds.

Cappie- Thanks. Nice to know you're still clocked in too. Now do what God said and burn that fucking place to the ground. You got Pylons involved now. Prevent them from being exposed.

Traveler- Got it, homes. I'll check the lead when it's convenient, if you catch my drift.



Oh yeah... and about that dynamite I mentioned earlier, Kiddies? Rigger's Rule #2-

Don't get greedy. If you got to knock a joint over to get some cash or ammo or whatever, don't take anything you don't abso-fucking-LUTELY **NEED**. First, you're fucking with some poor slob's livelihood. Second, that shit gets heavy to carry around. Third, if you take two pistols, a shotgun, only half of the fives and tens out of the register and four boxes of ammo, it's one FUCk of a lot less likely to get noticed than if you take Johnny Rebel's hidden stash of AK-47s and MP5s or knock over the store safe while clearing out the entire Doritoes and Red Bull displays.

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Re: La-Dee-Fucking-Da....

Post  Penemue574 on Tue Mar 24, 2009 5:52 pm

*rolls eyes*
"Just would have taken me longer to knock him off with the busted ribs."
I had a strange image of Monty Pythons Black Knight there. I fully expect you to have your legs chewed off by some big monster and utter the line "It's only a flesh wound..."

I have a handy partner to do the "getting hurt" stuff for me. Jesus, i cough blood if I run for longer then a few minutes. Chuck Norris I am not. Hunter can deal with the shooting when that happens, I'm actually working on stealing a few peoples phone numbers but hijacking the signals. There are some local gangs nearby I could dupe into thinking any monster nests are "enemy turf" if I text them wrong information. Morons.

And yeah, I agree with your advice on not dragging half an armory with you. My hunter friend claims his best one was the "sawn off in a bunch of flowers" ploy. Someone clearly has been playing Hitman.

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Re: La-Dee-Fucking-Da....

Post  rigger111 on Fri Mar 27, 2009 6:49 am

Better get used to it, Slappy. Even the best of us get knocked around on a regular basis. These fuckers don't play around and they got speed, strength and stamina that we ain't got. You're gonna need to learn how to take a punch. That's what really saved my ass the other night... I know how to roll with a punch. If I had hit that wall dead on, or hadn't tucked my arm in (which is why I impacted on my ribs) I would have been killed or had my arm busted and useless.

Anyhow... checked up on that guy in Spokane. That's my boy, T. I owe you a beer you numb fuck. Next step is to follow that lead. It's an open end, so I ain't telling nobody where I'm headed next. Let's just say it ain't sunny there and it smells. Why one of these fucktards is screwing around in Washington state is beyond me. I'll have to ask the boss rot when I rip his gizzard out.

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Re: La-Dee-Fucking-Da....

Post  god45 on Mon Mar 30, 2009 8:07 am

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Bring two flashlights and don't bother stealing a car. The streets are too congested to make it worthwhile.

You're not as clever as you think you are, Rigger.
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Re: La-Dee-Fucking-Da....

Post  Penemue574 on Mon Mar 30, 2009 12:53 pm

He is proof that sometimes it IS better to be a lucky fool then skilled!

*Sits back and awaits another triade of abuse. My popcorn is ready. :P*

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